It’s the return of exam season. Over a million students take GCSEs or Nationals across the UK every year. And if a teenager in your household is revising for them, all you want is for them to do their best.
It can be a stressful time for them and for you. Although there are practical ways to help them, like flashcard testing or revision timetables, there are also ways of supporting them emotionally.
We caught up with Stevie from Young Minds - the Senior Manager of Parent and Carer Services - for her top tips on supporting teens with their wellbeing this exam season.
As teens get more involved in their revision, they’ll naturally become more reserved and, potentially, irritable as their stress-load increases.
“We need to look at how our routines and everyday life at home [and] need to accommodate the fact that [a] young person is probably going to be […] a bit more withdrawn from family or friends.”
“So, just helping to ease the pressure and the load. It might be that you lessen the expectations on them doing loads of chores, for instance, or, not planning too much or making weekends and evenings busy and jam packed.”
This isn’t to get them out of doing any chores. But Stevie mentioned that accommodating their revision period can do a lot to ease their own personal sense of pressure.
We all know that frustration of spending hours cramming and not feeling the information going in. Often, this is the case: “There's a lot of research out there that says that beyond 20, 30 minutes, our ability to absorb information can really reduce.”
If you notice your teen developing this habit, the best thing you can do to support them might be, “just offering permission” for them to take breaks. This could be as simple as taking them out to a café for a short revision break.
If you notice the teen in your household getting overwhelmed by their revision content or struggling with motivation, flagging this to schools can be a great way to get them the support they need.
“I think there's a lot of value in always having that open dialogue, expressing your concerns and exploring whether there are things that the school could be doing.” This is particularly relevant for teens with SEND, continued Stevie, where mentioning issues early on will allow schools to, “hone in a bit more and sharpen their focus or maybe spend a bit more time observing and monitoring what's going on.”
It’s natural to hope for high grades when you see the efforts your teen puts into their revision. But often mentioning exams or grades can increase their stress-load.
Stevie pointed to a more productive place your direct your encouragement: “I think that sometimes we just focus on how high the grade is, but we ignore a young person might have put their absolute all in it.”
By focussing on their effort, rather than simply the outcome, you might also be giving them the pep talk they need to keep going. “I think praising things like the motivation can spur them on. That can help keep them going through throughout that period.”
While it’s important for teens to do the best they can in their exams, a linear route from school, to college, to university might not be the most suitable for them.
“Another thing that we hear about is young people not really being presented withthe options that are available.” Stevie continued, “Maybe there's not that much dialogue about things like apprenticeships or the value of volunteering”.
This was a topic touched on by Kerry Godliman in a recent episode of the Bitesize Parenting Podcast. She mentioned the conversations she was having with teachers about stepping back, rather than adding to a teen's exam anxiety with conversations about their future.
If you think your child needs more support, let them know about helplines, textlines and online services that are available to them. You could also speak to your GP, who can provide help and refer them to mental health services if needs be. You could look at the resources together. The BBC Action Line is a good place to start.
If you’re not sure of what to do and need some extra support, visit the Young Minds website for more advice.
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