Even ven George had to laugh

They say that laughter is the best medicine! Here are some of your favourite jokes that you've sent us down the months... Tell us a Joke!

JOHNNY 2 BOB
I ASKED A GUY TO CHECK IF MY INDICATORS WERE WORKING AT THE BACK OF MY CAR AS I THOUGHT THEY WERE PLAYING UP. I ASKED HIM. " ARE THEY OK PAL ?". HE SAID ." YES..NO..YES..NO..YES..NO..YES..NO..YES..NO!!!!!!"

Terry
What do you call a group of international chess champions gathered by the reception at the London Hilton bragging how good they are? CHESS NUTS BOASTING BY THE HOTEL FOYER.

shane
a man walks into a bar and say's ouch

Beagle
man walks into the doctors ans says i feel like a dog. 'Get on the couch' the doctor replies.'No im not allowed'

herbert
wats black wite n red all over? a news paper

mike
knock knock whoes there... a man who cant reach the door bell

Beagle!
what did the big chimney say to the little chimney:your to young to smoke

henchoz
why did the crab blush Because it saw the oceans bottom

dann hassan
two beavers are building a damn one beaver says to the other i'll go get some more damn wood

me
Q; why did the one handed guy cross the road A; to get to the second hand shop

A BEE
BIRTHDAYS ARE GOOD FOR YOU. THE MORE YOU HAVE THE LONGER YOU LIVE.!!!

Sez from hessle high skool!
what do you call a tube of professers? Smarties! ha ha ha ha! not!

me
two men walk into a bar you think one of them would have seen it

stubob steels
a bloke went into a doctors and had a strawberry on his thumb. the doctor said 'i've got some cream for that'

Scamy
A dyslexic drunk was out on the town avin a few drinks, on his way home, he choked on his own vimto!!!

Potter Mick
two Mexicans, Pepe and Pedro had been lost in the desert for four days, and were getting close to death, when they spot a tree in the distance. They approach the tree to discover on its branches rashers of bacon, back bacon, streaky bacon, raw bacon. With this Pepe rushes towards the tree and gets to within 5 yards when he is mown down by machine gun fire. "Pedro" he yells out, "don't come any closer. It's not a bacon tree, it's a (h)am bush

bob
what happened to the potato that refused to work? he got sacked ha ha ha ha ha !!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Richard Leishman
Did you hear about the two guys that got arrested last week? well one was letting off fireworks and the others was drinking battery acid. The police charged one and let the other one off.

Empoo
2 Cows R In A Field 1 Says Moo oo Moo moo ooo moo. The Other 1 Says I Was Gonna Say That

poddy stokie
whats black and white and eats like a horse? a zebra

Ben Hammond
Why did billy take a ladder to school? He was going to High school!

A Bee
Is atheism a none prophet organisation?

john
what do you call a man a=with a car on his head? jack

Allan
A tramp walks into a bar and asks the barman for a drink. The barman refuses on the grounds that he couldn't afford it. The tramp replies " If I show you what I've got in my pocket and you agree that it's fantastic can I have that drink? The barman agrees whereupon the tramp takes a hamster out of his pocket and puts him on the bar. The hamster runs along the bar and over to the piano wher he begins playing Gershwin melodies. The barman, amazed, gives the tramp his drink. Ten minutes later the tramp asks for another drink and the barman refuses until the tramp makes a similar offer. This time he takes a frog out of his pocket and puts him on the bar. The frog sings like Pavarotti accompanied by the hamster on the piano. At that moment a chap in the corner of the bar rushes up to the tramp and offers him £500 for the frog. The tramp accepts and the chap pays up and rushes out of the bar. As the barman was serving the tramp with his second drink he said "You must be mad. That frog must be worth millions!" "I don't think so" said the tramp - "the hamster's a ventriloquist!!"

loobyloo
WHAT DO YOU CALL A NUN WITH AWASHER MACHINE ON HER HEAD?...........SISTERMATIC.....LOL

Customer
Paddy goes to a barbers for a hair cur the hair dresser says your going bald, Paddy says well hurry up then!

Rickie.
How do you keep a crowd of idiots in suspense? I will tell you later!!

Christchurch Mike
What's the difference between a buffalo and a bison. You can't wash your hands in a buffalo.

Lee cartwright
which football team loves icecream? aston vannila

Nikarius
Two men were walking through the woods when a large bear walked out into the clearing no more than 50 feet in front of them. The first man dropped his backpack and dug out a pair of running shoes, then began to furiously attempt to lace them up as the bear slowly approached them. The second man looked at him confused, and said, "What are you doing? Running shoes aren't going to help. You can't outrun that bear." "I don't need to," said the first man, "I just need to outrun you.".

Vickie the Brickie
Little boy to teacher. I anna gorra pencil miss. Teacher to little boy. I anna gorra pencil miss. It's I havent got a pencil. He hasn't got a pencil. She hasn't got a pencil. We haven't got a pencil. They haven't got a pencil. Little boy to teacher. Well who's got all the bloody pencils then.

Popsicle_King
A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter. "What are you doing?" She asked. "Hunting Flies" He responded. "Oh. Killing any?" She asked. "Yep, 3 males, 2 Females," he replied. Intrigued, she asked. "How can you tell?" He responded, "3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone."