The films cover:
- feelings a child may experience when griefing a parent
- suggestions for dealing with difficult situations and activities that can help a child cope
The first film shows Elis’s life a few months after losing his mother. The second film looks at ways in which friends can support someone going through grief.
Themes: grief; parental loss; coping with major change; resilience; recognising feelings; knowing yourself.
Elis's story: Film 1
It’s been really hard since losing Mum. Everything’s different now, even the small things, like getting ready in the morning.
Non’s only six, so I’ve got to help Dad get her dressed and get her to eat her breakfast and stuff like that.
Sometimes after school too. If Dad has to work or do things around the house, I have to play with Non.
I never had to worry about things like that when Mum was here.
School hasn’t been easy either. One of the boys said, “I wouldn’t be able to cope without my mum.”
I didn’t know what to say. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do without her either, but it’s not like I have a choice.
I’ve been going over to Twm’s sometimes, just to play football or go on the computer.
It’s been nice to do something different and not think about what’s happened.
Sometimes I feel guilty if I forget for a bit and have a laugh with Twm. But the counsellor said it’s a good thing and I shouldn’t feel guilty.
The thing is I never really know how I’m going to feel.
Like the other day, when I had hockey, Dad forgot to pack my gumshield which meant I couldn’t play. I was so, so angry. I threw my bag and kicked the locker really hard.
I was angry with my dad for messing up and angry with myself for not checking, but more than anything, I was so angry with Mum for not being here anymore. She wouldn’t have forgotten.
Non talks about Mum all the time. I know she’s only little, but sometimes I get angry with her when she mentions Mum.
But Dad and I talked about it, and he said it’s normal for people to deal with things in different ways.
Maybe Non needs to talk about Mum, and maybe that’s harder for me, and that’s okay too.
We’ve started doing some new things, like on Tuesdays, the three of us go swimming and then go for pizza. It’s nice to do things like that together, and keep busy.
But I miss Mum every day. Some days, I miss her so much, it just hurts and I don’t want to do anything.
But I know I can talk to Dad or Twm, or the counsellor if I want to. I always feel a bit better after talking to someone.
These last few months have been so hard and it’s still hard.
I know things will never be the same again but some days now, I’m starting to feel a little bit better.
Elis's story: Film 2
If someone close to your friend dies, it can be really hard to know what to do.
You might feel like you don’t know how to help, or be afraid that you’ll say the wrong thing.
But even though it’s difficult, your friend probably really needs you right now, and there are things you can do to support them.
There’s no way of telling how your friend might be feeling. Everyone behaves differently when someone close to them dies.
They might want to talk about what’s happened, or that might be too difficult right now. And that’s fine too.
You could tell them that you’re there for them, and that you’ll be ready to listen if they feel like they want to talk. Or, there might be an opportunity when it’s just the two of you, and you could ask them how they’re feeling.
If your friend does want to talk, don’t forget that they won’t expect you to be able to make their problems go away. Just by being there and listening, you are helping.
It’s natural too, for you to want to know exactly what happened. You might be worried that something like this could happen to someone you love.
But it could be difficult for your friend to talk about that, so try to ask someone else about it, if you can. Your mum or dad, maybe, or an older brother or sister.
You might notice that your friend doesn’t seem quite like themselves or that they’re behaving in an unpredictable way.
Perhaps they’re not answering your messages, or they cancel on you last minute.
Try to be patient, and don’t forget that they’re dealing with something really difficult at the moment.
Stay in touch and keep inviting them to things. Think about what you used to enjoy doing together. Going for bike rides, playing computer games… Why not arrange to do those things again soon?
It’s possible your friend feels like everyone is acting differently around them, and they might really appreciate it if you suggest doing something normal together.
Dealing with losing someone takes time and it can change over time too.
Your friend might be going through a range of emotions. They might be in shock to begin with, or they might feel really angry at times. And other times, they might just feel numb.
Grief is the word for the intense sadness we feel after someone dies. Sometimes the longing and the grief will be overwhelming for your friend.
But over time, some days will be easier. Try and be there for your friend during this difficult period.
Just by doing a few small things, you can be a big help.
Possible activities
Activity 1 - Identifying emotions
(Health and Well-being; Language and Literacy)
Each of the emotions listed below could be written on a different piece of card. one given to each group at random. Each group could then be asked to create a mind map using words, sentences and/or pictures) to illustrate the meaning of the emotion.
| shock | loneliness | anger | sadness | depression |
As a further task, a representative from each group could be asked to act out the emotion for the rest of the class to try to guess (Expressive Arts).
Activity 2 - Identifying emotions
(Health and Well-being; Literacy and Communication)
Using the same ‘emotion’ cards from Activity 1 (above), pupils could be asked to discuss their strategies for dealing with that particular emotion, for example: going for a walk; completing a breathing exercise; drinking water; taking a break in a quiet place; listening to a favourite song; talking to a parent; playing with a friend etc.
Once their strategy for one emotion is complete, they can swap cards with another group:
- Are different strategies needed for different emotions?
- Do some strategies work for some, but wouldn’t work for others?
Activity 3 - Identifying emotions
(Health and Well-being; Expressive Arts)
Pupils could be invited to create a piece of art to express their feelings. They could be asked to think in terms of colours, lines and shapes when expressing a particular feeling. They could be encouraged to look at the work of artists such as Van Gogh, Edvard Munch and Frida Kahlo and see how they used their art to convey feelings and emotions.
Activity 4 - Identifying emotions
(Health and Well-being; Expressive Arts)
Pupils could be asked to create a puppet or use a teddy or doll to role play one of the following scenarios:
Scenario 1: A friend is sad because his cat has died. What can the other friend say / do to help their friend?
Scenario 2: A friend is missing his grandmother. She died a couple of years ago. What can the other friend say / do to help their friend?
Scenario 3: A friend feels sad – but they don’t know why they’re feeling like this. What can their friend say / do to help?
Activity 5 - Dealing with grief
(Health and Well-being; Expressive Arts)
Create a portrait of someone they have lost
Pupils could sketch half the face in the usual way, and then the other half could be made up of elements that remind the pupil of that person, for example: a playground slide instead of the nose; a cake instead of the eyes; the sun instead of an ear.
Activity 6 - Identifying grief
(Health and Well-being; Expressive Arts)
Creating an outline of the body
Pupils could be asked to work with a partner to create an outline of the body with chalk on the floor. Each pair can label the body and identify how grief can affect that part of the body, for example: stomach pains; headaches; tears. They could then discuss as a class how grief can directly affect the body. With the teacher’s guidance, what strategies can pupils turn to for help when they feel their body reacting in this way to grief?
Curriculum links
Health and Well-being
- I can see the benefits of communicating about feelings as one of a range of strategies which can help promote positive mental health and emotional well-being.
- I can understand how and why experiences affect me and others.
Mathematics and Numeracy
- I can interact with others, talking and writing about my thoughts, feelings and opinions showing empathy and respect.
Where next?
Seren's story. video
Seren's parents have separated. Seren's father is moving away with his partner and having a baby with her. How will she cope with all of this?
Alys's story. video
Alys is feeling sad and lonely as her best friend has become close friends with another girl. How will Alys cope with this? What can she do to make herself feel better?
Health and Well-being (Wales) 8-11
More English medium resources
