Ryan is a father to a young daughter, Mia.
When Mia was around three months old, Ryan and her mother decided to separate, and Ryan became a single father. "It was scary, because I didn't know what I was doing," he says.
Soon, he began to struggle with his mental health.
Watch his story of fatherhood and overcoming depression below…
"She's the reason I'm still here to this day"
To find out more, CBeebies Parenting spoke to Stephen Buckley, Head of Information at mental health charity Mind.
"We've known for a while that parental mental health is a really important topic to address,” Stephen says.
Yet there can still be stigma around seeking support for mental health difficulties.
"People still might feel a sense of shame, or a sense of inadequacy, that they're having to ask for help."
This is particularly true with a new baby, when parents fear feeling judged. A bad experience of asking for help in the past can also make it harder to reach out again for many people.
But Stephen, like Ryan, is keen to stress the importance of reaching out when needed.
What are some of the pressure points for new parents?
Big changes in life circumstances like losing a job, bereavement or divorce, can be a trigger for a change in someone's mental health.
"In some ways, having a baby is the biggest of the lot," Stephen says.
Sleep is a major factor: "Having a newborn can mean exhaustion for a number of months, maybe longer. Sleep and mental health are very closely linked."
“If you're not getting the right level of sleep, it's potentially going to impact your mental health."
Finances add further pressure: "It's still a financial shock for many people, having to cope on a reduced income with an extra expense.”
"Everything hit me at once: the breakup, the loss of my gran, being a single father. I was getting depressed, and I think it all just built up into one." – Ryan
Why can it be hard for fathers to ask for help?
"A good chunk of male identity is wrapped up in being self-reliant, being a provider, being seen as strong," says Stephen.
"Men are also more involved in the life of their children than maybe they were 50 years ago."
Attitudes and support may not always have kept pace. There's also a sense that a partner's needs should come first.
"Pregnancy isn't easy, even when it goes well. So, there can be an unwillingness to say, 'Actually, I'm not coping brilliantly with this,' even when some help would make a real difference."
"It's a time of heightened emotions and heightened pressure. There's a rich stew of feelings that need to be dealt with."
What are the warning signs others should look out for?
It's entirely normal to change a little when you become a new parent, which can make it hard to know when to be concerned.
"Tiredness; feeling happy one minute and sad the next, that's usually normal. It's more about noticing patterns over a longer period," Stephen says.
Irritability, hopelessness, anger, a loss of interest in things, or changes in eating and energy levels are worth watching for, particularly if they last six to eight weeks or more.
"The clearest signal is if how you're feeling starts to impact your role as a parent. That's often when it's time to reach out."
"She looked at me, sat on my lap, and said, 'Daddy, I love you.' That was when I realised it's not about me any more. It's about her." – Ryan
Where can fathers turn for support?
A lot depends on who you have a relationship with and trust.
That might be a health visitor or midwife; or a GP can might be a good first port of call. Pharmacists can also help with initial support if a GP appointment isn't easy to get.
"Community groups can make a real difference too. New dads' groups can be incredibly helpful," Stephen says.
Reflecting on when he was a father for the first time, Stephen adds: "When I had a very small baby, going to one of those morning play-and-cups-of-tea groups was incredibly helpful.
“Just being able to put the newborn down for half an hour and have a cup of tea felt like the kindest thing in the world at that point."
"You don't realise how many do suffer with it in silence." – Ryan
What can families do to help?
Family and friends offering help should let new parents go at their own pace, rather than forcing it.
"Make it clear you're there. Offer practical things: cooking meals in advance, helping with washing, taking the baby for a while, but be guided by what the parents say they'd find useful."
And what if your friend, partner, or family member is struggling to open up?
Stephen says you could suggest they jot down what they want to say beforehand, rather than trying to find the words on the spot.
And help them think about a setting that works for them: "trying to have the conversation on your own terms can be useful, so a walk or a cup of tea somewhere low-pressure can work better than sitting someone down for a ‘talk’."
For some people, finding the words themselves is the hardest part. Stephen suggests pointing them toward something that could help describe how they might be feeling.
The Mind website has a page with different types of mental health problems, which might be a good place to start.
What about single parents?
Not every new parent has a partner to share the load with. As in Ryan's story, relationships can change or end early in a child's life.
"Community experiences, meeting other new parents, peer support, a space to check in, becomes really important," Stephen says.
As children grow, a circle of friends at a similar life stage can offer the same kind of support.
When it comes to reaching out in a way that feels natural, Stephen suggests asking questions like, 'I'm finding this tough, what do you reckon?' or 'Can I come round so the kids can play and we can have a break?'
"I still get anxious, or a bit of anxiety, if she's not well. It's not an easy job being a single parent." – Ryan
Finding time for mental health support when you have a baby
Stephen encourages us to think of asking for help as a sign of strength and to reframe how we consider our new role: "How can I be the best parent I want to be? That includes looking after and prioritising yourself.
For Ryan, and for many new fathers, admitting he was struggling didn't come easily, but reaching out changed things.
Stephen's message to a parent struggling right now is the same one he'd give to anyone: "You are not alone. There will be hundreds of new parents every week experiencing similar things to you.”
"Over the last two years, I've started to open up a lot more. Life now is very blessed, mentally, physically, emotionally." – Ryan
