How do I wean my child off social media and screen time?

By Dr. Charlotte Armitage, psychologist and psychotherapist - responding to issues shared with Bitesize Parenting by parents.

As a psychologist, I completely understand why the proposed under-16 social media ban is creating such strong feelings for parents. For some, it will feel like a relief, for others, it may feel worrying, particularly if their child already spends a lot of time on screen-based entertainment like social media, YouTube or gaming.

According to market research organisation Ipsos, nearly half of 4-10 year olds (47%) and almost all 11-15 year olds (88%) claim to use social media each week, and 11-15s claim to spend just under nine hours a week on social media platforms. At the moment, the Government has said that social media platforms will be banned from offering services to under-16s, with further restrictions expected around features such as livestreaming and stranger contact. The first protections are expected to come into force in Spring 2027, but the detail is still being worked through. Parents don't need to panic or suddenly remove every device overnight. In fact, for many children, a sudden “cold turkey” approach may make things much harder.

What parents can do now is begin preparing children gradually.

The first thing to understand is that screen time is rarely just about the screen. For children and teenagers, social media and devices can become linked to friendship, boredom, comfort, reward, identity, status and emotional regulation. As such, when we reduce access, children may not simply feel annoyed. They may feel genuinely distressed, anxious, angry or socially left out. This means that we should introduce boundaries with empathy, structure and consistency.

Rhia who is a parent of children aged 11, 14 and 16 said: "I get worried about what they can potentially see on social media and other sites like Snapchat and TikTok. Despite having content blocks on their phones they have found ways around and this worries me…"

This is a very common concern. Parental controls are useful, but they are not a complete psychological safeguard. Children are often technically capable, curious and influenced by peers, so we need to combine practical protections with open conversation.

I would start by saying something like: “I’m asking because I want to understand what your online world looks like, I’m not trying to tell you off.”

Ask what they enjoy, who they follow, what makes them laugh, what makes them uncomfortable, and whether they have ever seen anything that has worried them. Children are more likely to come to us when something goes wrong if they believe we can tolerate hearing the truth.

If every conversation becomes a panic, punishment or confiscation, children may become more secretive. So keep the content blocks, check privacy settings, remove location sharing and keep devices out of bedrooms overnight. But make sure your child also knows they can talk to you without immediately being shamed.

Another parent, Richard, described concerns about influencers and topics that might undermine parenting or expose children to subjects they don't fully understand. He said: "I openly have these conversations with my kids and ask them to turn off repetitive or strongly opinionated content where there isn't a balanced argument, as many content creators are merely trying to gain views and likes rather than being truly educational."

I think this is a really helpful approach. Children and teenagers are still developing the capacity to evaluate motive, manipulation and credibility. Many influencers aren't trying to educate children. They're trying to hold attention, provoke emotion, sell products, build status or drive views.

Rather than simply saying, “That person is bad, don’t watch them,” try helping your child think critically. Ask: “What do you think this person wants you to feel?” “Are they trying to inform you, shock you, sell to you, or make you angry?” “What might be missing from this argument?”

This helps children move from passive consumption to active thinking. It also avoids making the influencer more appealing by turning them into forbidden fruit.

Jenni who is a parent of children aged 8 to 11, including a child with SEND, described getting cross when her children will not listen: "I shout at them and then I feel hugely guilty because I am not handling it in the way I should be. But I'm doing my best so I just try to ignore the online stuff."

This situation will resonate with many parents. Screen time arguments often happen when everyone is already dysregulated. The child is absorbed, the parent is tired, and the boundary is introduced at the point of frustration.

The key is to stop negotiating in the heat of the moment. Choose a calm time and create a simple family screen plan. For example: “From Monday, screens will go off at 7pm on school nights. You’ll get a 15-minute warning, then a five-minute warning. After that, you can choose drawing, reading, bath time or helping with supper.”

For children with SEND, predictability is especially important. Visual timetables, timers, transition warnings and clear routines can reduce the emotional shock of stopping. There may still be anger but that doesn’t mean the boundary is wrong. A child being upset is not always a sign that we've harmed them, sometimes it's a sign that they are learning to tolerate frustration.

A helpful phrase is: “I can see you’re really angry and I understand this feels unfair but the answer is still no, and I will help you calm down.”

Mark shared his experience of dealing with screen time: “We took them on the most amazing holiday last summer to Florida… Every morning for two weeks my eldest child would scream, argue and get upset because we had to go out and do things… All she kept thinking about was when she could go on her tablet even though she was in Disneyland.”

This sounds extreme, but it isn't unusual. Highly stimulating screen activities can make ordinary life, and even exciting real-life experiences, feel slow or effortful at first. Screens offer control, predictability and immediate reward. Holidays can involve transitions, waiting, heat, crowds and sensory overload.

The best way to manage this situation is to prepare your child. Before the holiday, set the rules clearly: “Tablets are for the journey, but we won’t be using screens often on holiday and they won’t come out with us during the day.”

Then replace the screen with a role or purpose. Put the child in charge of the map, the photos, choosing a ride order, keeping a holiday diary or helping decide where to eat. Children cope better when they know what they are moving towards, not just what they're losing. Expect the first few days to be the hardest. Their brain and body may need time to adjust.

Another of the parents said, "I feel like my youngest (aged seven) spends too much time on screens and I feel guilty that we rely on him using screens to allow us to get on with household jobs or even get a rest. However, he does self-regulate with imaginative play - leaping around acting out Minecraft as well as drawing, Lego and board games.”

Modern family life is demanding, and screens are often used because they work. The distinction that needs to be drawn here is regarding the screens and devices. The term 'screen' encapsulates a lot of viewing technology but not all screens are equally as problematic. The larger the screen and the longer form the content, the lower the adverse impact. Therefore, you can still use screen time but avoid smart devices and short form content.

If a child can still play imaginatively, draw, build and engage in board games, that's a good sign. It means offline play is still available to them. I'd suggest creating “screen islands”, clear, contained times when screens are allowed, rather than letting them spread across the whole day and ideally keep this to TV viewing rather than smart devices.

For example, screens after school for 30 minutes, then off during dinner, then perhaps a short agreed slot later. Or screens while a parent cooks, but not before school, during meals or in bedrooms overnight.

It can also help to make alternatives visible: Drawing materials, puzzle books, audiobooks, craft boxes, den-building materials, magazines or fidget toys. Children often reach for screens because they're immediate. We need to make offline options immediate too.

Yes, our device-use behaviours as adults have an impact on how our children use devices too. Many adults also lose hours to pointless scrolling and our children notice this. If we’re constantly on our phones while telling them to come off theirs, the message becomes confused.

Modelling healthy device-use behaviours might mean saying: “I’ve noticed I’m scrolling too much as well, so I’m going to put my phone in the kitchen after dinner.” This helps us to become consciously aware of our own device-use behaviours as well as helping the child to become consciously aware also.

When we recognise and address our behaviours, it turns it into a family reset rather than a punishment directed at the child.

You might introduce shared rules: no phones at the table, no devices in bedrooms overnight, a family charging station downstairs, or screen-free activities each weekend. Children are much more likely to accept boundaries when they don’t feel singled out.

• Start gradually. Sudden removal can trigger more conflict, secrecy and distress.

• Replace, don't just remove. Children need alternative sources of comfort, stimulation, mastery and connection.

• Expect protest. Anger, bargaining and tears don't necessarily mean you’re doing something wrong.

• Use empathy and firmness together. “I understand this is hard” and “the boundary still stands” can exist in the same sentence.

• Keep devices out of bedrooms overnight. Sleep is one of the most important protective factors for children’s emotional wellbeing and their development.

• Talk about content, not just time. Who children follow, what they watch and how it makes them feel matters as much as the amount of time spent online.

• Make it a family culture shift. Children cope better when adults are also willing to change their own habits.

The proposed ban may help create a clearer social norm, but children will still need parents to guide them through the emotional and practical transition. This won’t happen perfectly, and it won’t happen overnight. Small, steady changes, made with warmth and consistency, can help children rediscover the parts of childhood that screens have so easily crowded out.

This article was published in July 2026